| May 22, 2000: Morning Edition |
[22 May 2008|12:41am] |
PROPHET EXCLUSIVE
This morning, Minister of Magic Gawain Robards announced the proposal of a new law to be deliberated upon by the magical cabinet and Ministry officials during the summer months. According to an anonymous Ministry source, the new law had been in discussion for some weeks prior to Minister Robard's public announcement.
In his public address early this morning, Minister Robards stated, "Laws are not put into place or made with the intention of hindrance or persecution, but rather they are more of a list of moral guidelines with which one should navigate their lives by. This law is not meant to persecute our foreign brothers and sisters, but keep our loyal and faithful citizens safe until there is peace once again where they may travel freely unharmed and unhindered."
In simpler terms, in accordance with an agreement with our neighbour France, all British citizens living in France would be required by law to return home to Britain immediately. All current work and residency visas would be revoked and made ineligible for renewal until a time when the Ministry deems it safe for travel between our two countries once again. This would also go the same for French citizens living in Britain. All citizenship applications in processing would be considered equally and immediately expedited. In accordance with the agreement between the two nations, new applications for citizenship will not be accepted in either country.
The proposal may have been made in retaliation to a bomb threat made against the British Embassy in France this past April, a Ministry source tells the Daily Prophet.
If a unanimous vote is reached by the Ministry of Magic and the government of Wizarding France, the law will go into effect August 1, 2000, at which time all French citizens residing in Britain will be required to return to their native country, and all British citizens residing in France to do the same, or risk immediate arrest and possible sentence to Azkaban prison.
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| May 20, 2000: Evening Edition |
[20 May 2008|12:17pm] |
DAILY WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT: Citizens, let us ponder now the cost of knowledge. We cannot simply ask for such a powerful gift without knowing the price. We, as wizards, have been given a gift, and must look carefully towards protecting it and in turn, protecting others from it. Our burdens seem light in the face of other's happiness. Let us travel on, better and more understanding a people.
-Gawain Robards, Minister of Magic.
Death By Wine!
A Public Service Announcement To My Readers!
by Rita Skeeter
Loyal readers, as many of you may know, I enjoy a good wine as much as the next fellow. But! Recent events may have changed my mind. Two weeks about Thaddeus Nott died in his apartment, from what you may ask?
Old Wine.
Yes, readers, I did not believe myself when I first heard it! But as you know I only print the truth! A tip off that Thaddeus Nott's death may have not been natural, led me to snoop about the auror department until I found out what really had happened that morning. Thanks to my persisent and dogged pursuit I discovered that shocking reality! Thaddeus Nott was poisoned by a bottle of bad wine.
A professional wine taster later informed me that indeed, while wine does get better with age, one can have too much of a good thing. Wine that is too old develops toxic spores that threaten whomever takes a sip! So check your bottles! Any wine over one-hundred might just put you to sleep, for good!
And where did this wine come from you ask?
Well, knowing me, and that I leave no stone unturned, you must be waiting for this answer. In fact, the wine in question was a present from his son! Purchased in France. The sorrow he must be feeling, dear readers! To have accidentally killed his father! And anyone who has spoken to the heartbroken Theodore would know it couldn't have been anything but accidental!
Readers, let us think of poor, fatherless Theodore Nott and remember to check all our wines before we taste!
Until The Truth Needs Revealing, I Remain Your Loyal and Trustworthy Journalist,
Rita Skeeter
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| May 11, 2000: Morning Edition |
[11 May 2008|02:14pm] |
DAILY WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT: My friends and fellow citizens, I come to you on this day to ask you to consider this: Shouldn't it be not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country? These words came to me in a dream, a vision, if you will, of a better today and a brighter future. Your country needs your support now more then ever. Do not let her fall into despair.
-Gawain Robards, Minister of Magic.
Parkinson Charity Dinner
TERRIFIC SUCCESS!
By Rita Skeeter
One of Britain's most recognised and charitable families has stepped into the next millennia with a true and dutiful new generation at the helm. The young Miss Pansy Parkinson hosted a delightful charity dinner for St. Mungo's last night, and I must say, it was quite a success. Miss Parkinson succeeded in raising and exceeding her anticipated donation goal.
All of Magical Britain's best were Pureblood families were on the guest list, and even some were of Muggle descent. This only goes to further illustrate the Parkinsons' charity - only a truly loyal and unbiased citizen could invite such an array of people into their home without partisan and discrimination. I daresay many citizens should take a hint from Miss Parkinson. Our country needs us, dear readers, and we must give her our time, our dedication and our charity. If only more of us could open our hearts and homes like Miss Parkinson then there wouldd be no need for the war on terror because, quite simply put, there could be no terror in such a kind and lovely world.
Until tomorrow, readers, I remain most humbly yours,
Rita Skeeter, reporting excellence
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| May 10, 2008: Obituaries |
[10 May 2008|12:55pm] |
OBITUARIES:
Nott, Thaddeus
August 5, 1943 to May 2, 2000
Thaddeus Nott died last Friday in his London flat. Cause of death is yet undetermined. Thaddeus was preceded in death by his wife, Lucretia Nott, and is survived by his son, Theodore Nott, who is to inherit the Nott Estates and fortune. Thaddeus, an allegedly reformed Death Eater, was most recently known for his steady and often vocal support of the Ministry and the Law for the Protection of Magical Blood and Honor. Thaddeus was born just west of Brighton at the Nott Manor and lived there for most of his life. A year ago he purchased a flat in London and took up residence there until his death.
The funeral service will be held at the Nott Estates a week from today, Saturday, May 17. The viewing will be from 3:00 pm until 5:00 pm with services and interment to follow.
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| April 12, 2000: Evening Edition |
[13 Apr 2008|03:08pm] |
Seeking full-time personal assistant
Duties:
-- General secretarial work
-- Scheduling
-- Note taking
-- Shopping assistance
-- Research
Requirements:
-- Non aggressive temperament
-- Literacy
-- Promptness
-- Interest in society and social events
-- Organizational skills
-- Experience with secretarial work
Additional:
-- Live-in preferred
-- Letter of recommendation encouraged
-- Familiarity with social etiquette strongly recommended
Pay:
--  200 per month to start
-- Raise potential with longevity. Live-in assistant receives, additionally, lodgings, meals, and use of house elves.
Contact:
-- Please owl Ms Pansy Parkinson with recommendations and resume |
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| April 5th 2000. Morning Edition. |
[04 Apr 2008|11:37pm] |
Friend Speak All the Rage
by Grizel Hurtz
Wandering the busy streets in the more populated areas, one is likely to see a similar occurance between young and old alike. And it seems this is not a centrally located trend either. Wizards and witches of all ages are picking up their quills to communicate without the use of an owl. What is this ingenious device, you might ask? Well, your answer is the Friend Speak Journals, developed by a witch by the name of Mathilda! Where did such an idea come from? Why are these so widely used? Well, the answer is as simple as a simple arithmancy problem.
About six months ago Mathilda's Friend Speak Journals hit the racks alongside not only regular journals, but stationary and owl mailing equipment as well. Using magic said to be drawn from the secrets behind the moving portraits, speaking mirrors, and even the floo call network, these journals are all connected. One can write messages to others, either appearing anonymous or using their signature, and anyone else with a journal is able to read it. And likewise, any entry that is written by someone else is readable!
What makes a journal, once used to record ones most private thoughts, such a popular means of communication? Speed, for one. Entries appear immediately after they are written. Late for a date? An owl would never be quick enough to let your date know. Send him a Friend Speak message. Owls making a mess all over your desk? Send him outside and write in your journal. Paintings billigerant and disobediant? Pack them in the attack, you have a Friend Speak journal!
Genius! These journals are the easiest items to use! And what a clever idea. We all owe our thanks to Mathilda. In days when your anonymity is scarce, you have a means to be as anonymous as you want to be. Some may question the magic behind these journals. Are they tapped? Is there an ability to track someone writing in them? But I believe the more important question is what will we do when they run out? This invention definitely gets my vote of approval. So throw out your old private diary. Jump on the bandwagon. And when you do, do send me a message!
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| April 4, 2000: Classifieds |
[04 Apr 2008|09:33pm] |
ADEPT WITH POTIONS?
ABLE TO DIFFERENTIATE GINKGO FROM GINSENG?
Seeking full-time Potions assistant for antidote research.
Requirements: Basic understanding of Potions and ingredients. Also, expect to be mocked publicly and mercilessly if graded poorer than 'Excellent' on your NEWTs.
Bonus: A personal recommendation from the portrait of the late Severus Snape; if attained and legitimate, expect to be hired on the spot.
Everyone (who qualifies) is welcome to owl a detailed curriculum vitæ to Draco Malfoy, Malfoy Manor. Intellect and common sense are to be weighed just a notch below Potions ability. Use of compliments are to your advantage.
Skill is skill - there will be absolutely NO prejudice against fugitives, ex-death eaters and hapless souls born with less than stellar looks.
If interested, owl Draco Malfoy at Malfoy Manor. Those hired will be paid handsomely! |
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| April 4, 2000: Evening Edition |
[04 Apr 2008|05:14pm] |
DAILY WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT: My fellow citizens, I ask you to ponder these words today: freedom and liberty. Look at the individual meanings, compare them with less savory words and remember that neither word comes without cost. Freedom and liberty cost heavy and hefty fees, but those who give generoursly and without regret will prevail - freedom and liberty will prevail.
-Gawain Robards, Minister of Magic.
HERMIONE GRANGER,
TRAITOR & DEFECTOR,
LIVING IN SPAIN!
By Rita Skeeter
Oh, dear readers! I cannot begin to tell you how humbled and truly blessed I am to be once again back with my heart, the Daily Prophet. Even lounging on the pearly sands of Spanish beaches cannot compare to the joy I feel at having a quill back in my hands, delivering the undeniable truth to you, my readers.
My vacation was decidely decadent. But, of course, a reporter's job is never really 'on break' - even in Spain I found stories literally falling at my doorstep! Who knew that I would run into news about former do-gooder, turned Magical defector, Hermione Granger! My sources have it that Miss Granger has not only refused to register, but she has illegally fled the country, now living in Spain as a common Muggle.
According to a reliable source, Miss Granger originally fled to Bulgaria this past December to rekindle her relationship with former flame, Viktor Krum. She was devastated, however, to learn not only of Mr. Krum's new boyfriend but that he no longer had any interest in a villain and a traitor. In tears and a terrible hair style, Miss Granger fled to Spain, where I have it on good information that she is working as a mere alchemist's junior apprentice's assistant cauldron cleaner.
How the mighty have fallen! I would not be remiss in saying I knew all along that Miss Granger's fair-weather friendship to our Boy-Who-Lived-Again would never truly last. All her aquaintences are quite well enough off without her disastrous and incessant chastisement and do-goody-ness. It seems fit that Miss Granger can no longer go rooting her too long nose into other people's business.
Until tomorrow, readers, I remain most humbly yours,
Rita Skeeter, reporting excellence
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